Flourless Chocolate Espresso Mini Tortes with Chèvre Frosting (Grain-and-Sugar- Free) + Thoughts on Orthorexia

Flourless Chocolate Espresso Mini Tortes with Chèvre Frosting (Grain-and-Sugar- Free) + Thoughts on Orthorexia

I know orthorexia and I know it well.

I know what it’s like to spend every moment of the day thinking about food.

I know what it’s like to feel like any food off of my diet plan was worth spiraling into a binge or at least crying myself to sleep over.

I know what it’s like to feel like just sticking to my diet and losing weight would make the rest of my life somehow perfect.

For anyone still wondering, here’s the simplest definition of “orthorexia”: An obsession with eating foods that one considers healthy.

In my experience, food (and body) obsession is a dark, stifling, and exhausting place to live in.

 

Precious energy is wasted checking our abs in the mirror, weighing our food, or hyperventilating in the bathroom at a party because there’s nothing there that we’re “allowed” to eat.

 

No thank you.

 

That’s not the life I’m interested in…

 

((says the woman sharing grain-and-sugar-free recipes))

 

I know.

 

I seem to contradict myself but that’s exactly why I’ve wanted to share this so openly!!

 

As I’ve grown out of the need for my body to look like a magazine cover and my food to be flawlessly controlled, I’ve picked up a few things.

 

I went through a period when I was healing my disordered eating that I thought EVERYONE WHO WANTED TO BE HEALTHY WAS AN OBSESSED NUTCASE.

 

If they wanted to do a juice fast, I assumed they were a body-obsessed perfectionist.

 

If they wanted to lose weight, I assumed they hated themselves.

 

If they put any structure or care into their diets, my brain screamed ORTHOREXIA!!!

 

But here’s what I’ve learned:

 

Two people can live side by side, doing the same things and living the same life…and one can have orthorexia while the other is completely calm, sane and healthy.

 

Whoah.

 

How do I figure that can be possible?

 

I’ve lived it.

 

Continue reading “Flourless Chocolate Espresso Mini Tortes with Chèvre Frosting (Grain-and-Sugar- Free) + Thoughts on Orthorexia”

Dark Chocolate Tahini Cups (Plus Thoughts on Intuitive Eating with Food Restrictions)

Dark Chocolate Tahini Cups (Plus Thoughts on Intuitive Eating with Food Restrictions)

Early on in my “intuitive eating” experiment, I’d hear people ask questions like this:

“But what if I actually have to avoid certain foods??”

With so many years of restricted and regimented eating behind me, I really didn’t know what my body would do if I ate without any rules.

Turns out that rule-free eating was exactly what my sweet brain needed in order to relax…but my body has it’s own set of feel-good requirements.

And, over time, I’ve learned to listen…and without going back to the land of disordered eating and obsession!

There is a “new me” and an “old me” and they basically look the same.

The new me and the old me said “no” to sugar.

The new me and the old me lived with a lengthy list of things excluded from their diet.

The new me and the old me travel with a juicer, and always have packets of sea salt, a bottle of stevia, and a bar of “emergency chocolate” for all occasions.

Here’s the difference: 

Continue reading “Dark Chocolate Tahini Cups (Plus Thoughts on Intuitive Eating with Food Restrictions)”

When A Cleanse Is Healthy & When it’s Not.

When A Cleanse Is Healthy & When it’s Not.

I’ve done a lot of juice fasting and cleansing.

Like, a whole heck of a lot.

Anyone who’s been around my work for any period of time may even be sick of hearing about the “90-day juice fast” but for the newbies, that’s where I’m coming from.

I’ve written about the pitfalls and all the ways I approached cleansing in an unhealthy way…

But what I’ve never done is talked about how it can be done in a way that’s truly supportive.

There’s a common misconception that “cleanses” or even just “healthy eating” is what causes craziness or disordered eating.

But…there are people eating all sorts of ways that are calm and vibrant and people eating all sorts of ways that are obsessive and disordered.

The craziness isn’t in the food.

Continue reading “When A Cleanse Is Healthy & When it’s Not.”

How I Marie Kondo’d The Heck Out Of My Diet.

How I Marie Kondo’d The Heck Out Of My Diet.

 

You know Marie Kondo, right?

 

In case you don’t, she’s the freaking GENIUS behind the book “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.”

 

Some call it a minimalist manifesto but I don’t think that’s necessarily what it is.

 

Marie’s one game-changing piece of advice is that if it doesn’t spark joy, GET RID OF IT.

 

Then – whether you’re surrounded by clean openness or a thousand trinkets that you completely adore – you’ll be surrounded by nothing but what brings you joy.

 

Now, HERE’S HOW IT HELPED ME HEAL MY RELATIONSHIP TO FOOD…

 

While I didn’t literally use this book to transform my binge eating and obsession with food – in hindsight, I did exactly what Marie did:

 

I REFUSED TO EAT ANY FOOD THAT DIDN’T SPARK JOY.



Continue reading “How I Marie Kondo’d The Heck Out Of My Diet.”

How to Cut Back on Caffeine Without Being a Crazy Person

How to Cut Back on Caffeine Without Being a Crazy Person

I was a Flight Attendant on a strict diet when I fell in love with coffee.

My goal?

Juice fast all day, eat one meal when the flight was over, and whittle myself down to those size zero uniform dresses.

I never quite got there because, as you can imagine, when I couldn’t force my body to survive on juice alone – there was bag, after bag, after bag of trail mix.

I picked out the chocolate pieces and raisins, of course, because they weren’t on my list of “diet approved” foods.

It wasn’t until I left the airline job that I began to see my relationship with food as disordered and in the meantime, I did everything I could to maintain my regime.

Enter: coffee. Continue reading “How to Cut Back on Caffeine Without Being a Crazy Person”

How to Juice Fast Without Being a Crazy Person

How to Juice Fast Without Being a Crazy Person

I remember my first juice fast: I was 15, at boarding school in Colorado, and desperate to be skinny.

My roommate and I got up at 5 A.M. to go running or get to the gym before class started.

I spent every other moment of the day “fidgeting” to burn calories…a tip that was actually recommended in one of the many weight loss books I’d hidden under my bed.

This was before Instagram-celebs were sharing their glamorous looking cleanses and glowy skin, we just had a faded book from the 80’s inspiring us to drink nothing but juice for three days.

As you might imagine, we made it through a single day before bingeing on pancakes (it was breakfast-for-dinner night in the cafeteria…it’s like the gods of growing young women were taking care of us 😉 )

The years following saw me through SlimFast, raw food cleanses, smoothie feasts, one-meal-a-day calorie restriction, and the motherload: 90-days on nothing but juice.

((read more about it here))

Yeah, that’s THREE MONTHS.

My fixation on body cleansing to perfection and FINALLY getting the “perfect body” consumed my life.

When I gave up dieting, it was revolutionary.

Continue reading “How to Juice Fast Without Being a Crazy Person”