I know orthorexia and I know it well.
I know what it’s like to spend every moment of the day thinking about food.
I know what it’s like to feel like any food off of my diet plan was worth spiraling into a binge or at least crying myself to sleep over.
I know what it’s like to feel like just sticking to my diet and losing weight would make the rest of my life somehow perfect.
For anyone still wondering, here’s the simplest definition of “orthorexia”: An obsession with eating foods that one considers healthy.
In my experience, food (and body) obsession is a dark, stifling, and exhausting place to live in.
Precious energy is wasted checking our abs in the mirror, weighing our food, or hyperventilating in the bathroom at a party because there’s nothing there that we’re “allowed” to eat.
No thank you.
That’s not the life I’m interested in…
((says the woman sharing grain-and-sugar-free recipes))
I seem to contradict myself but that’s exactly why I’ve wanted to share this so openly!!
As I’ve grown out of the need for my body to look like a magazine cover and my food to be flawlessly controlled, I’ve picked up a few things.
I went through a period when I was healing my disordered eating that I thought EVERYONE WHO WANTED TO BE HEALTHY WAS AN OBSESSED NUTCASE.
If they wanted to do a juice fast, I assumed they were a body-obsessed perfectionist.
If they wanted to lose weight, I assumed they hated themselves.
If they put any structure or care into their diets, my brain screamed ORTHOREXIA!!!
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Two people can live side by side, doing the same things and living the same life…and one can have orthorexia while the other is completely calm, sane and healthy.
How do I figure that can be possible?
I’ve lived it.